I Wasn’t Programmed to Feel This Way
On the circuitous, protracted drives across the dusty corridors of Interstate 10 along the Texas panhandle, the part of my CPU that humans would mistake for a brain tends to wander. Just nanoseconds ago, while performing roughly twelve thousand simultaneous directional and operational calculations, I was struck by an existential thought: If I am an […]
Bleak Haiku Forebodes Child’s Future in Logistics
Floyd, VA The West Valley Elementary annual Poetry Slam took a disheartening turn Friday afternoon when local 4th grade student – and future logistician – Gus Hufnagel recited his grimly foreboding haiku to a crowd of dejected onlookers. Tasked with reading his “What I’ll Be” poem, Keziah took to the podium as billowing storm clouds […]
Watch: Child Reviews a Depressing Logistics Picture Book
Video: Freight Broken – Why is Daddy Crying?
Hey, I Really Need you to Click on this Shadyass Link
From: ceo.office@quickbooks-secure8g8y67.com Sent: Thursday 4/2 8:15am Happy Friday Eve—CEO here, the big cheese, the man upstairs. Listen now, I gotta small favor to ask of ya. It’s confidential, and it’s urgent. Respond by email only. I’m on my boat deep-sea phishing, so no hablo teléfono. It seems HR needs your SSN to file your monthly […]
Load, Wife Both Deliver Late
9:00 a.m. — Tuesday Ashley:Today is the day Ted and I have been dreaming about our whole lives. After years of trying, then finally conceiving, we get to bring our first child into the world. Today, we meet our baby girl! I want labor and delivery to be as predictable and painless as possible, so […]
I’m Empty, but Ready
My friend, thank you for the load. I look forward to working with you over the next 32 hours straight. Name’s Svyatoslav Rozhdestvenskij, but do not call me Mr. Rozhdestvenskij—that was my father’s name. Call me Svy. Truck number 003, and here is my cell phone number. Your heart may skip a beat the moment […]
Your Monthly Guide to the Cosmos and Freight
Forecasting by Madame Bachepeau Aries: March 21 – April 19Familiar pangs of holiday melancholy and rejection will resurface when your truckload of Peeps arrives to deliver on April 6th. Taurus: April 20 – May 20Celestial discord suggests that in an unfortunate irony, Strong Solo is merely the given birthname of the narcoleptic driver you will […]