Bleak Haiku Forebodes Child’s Future in Logistics

Floyd, VA The West Valley Elementary annual Poetry Slam took a disheartening turn Friday afternoon when local 4th grade student – and future logistician – Gus Hufnagel recited his grimly foreboding haiku to a crowd of dejected onlookers. Tasked with reading his “What I’ll Be” poem, Keziah took to the podium as billowing storm clouds […]

Theives Disgusted to Learn Stolen Seafood Belongs to Captain D’s

Bronx, NY A coordinated cargo theft ring is re-evaluating its operational standards this week after successfully hijacking a refrigerated trailer of what they believed to be premium seafood, only to later discover the cargo was destined for a Captain D’s distrubution center. Inspired by a recent Costco lobster truck heist that yielded a $400,000 windfall […]